“I’m giving up on religion,” I said to the tattoo artist. It all started with a prayer…
“Lord, help me to let go of a ‘doing’ spirit, and recognize the ‘be’ spirit already in me.”
Somewhere along the line as I was growing up, I grasped onto a list of rules to live by. At twelve years old, I was spending time in The Word daily, memorizing verses, and practicing sharing Jesus with my friends. But recently, Father reminded me: “Daughter, you’ve been thinking that what you do defines who you are. It doesn’t, sweetheart. I do.”
So, I got a tattoo. On my wrist. It is the Hebrew characters for one precious name of God: the I AM.
You see, I’m learning that true Life is not found in “I do”. I’m used to “doing”, and I’m used to my “doing” getting me places. There’s been a few other recovering rule-followers in the past… Paul, for example. One of the first apostles. He had the resume every upstanding young man in his culture would want – the education and work experience every employer would look for.
Yet after Paul encountered Jesus, he wrote: “Whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. …We rely on what Christ Jesus has done for us. We put no confidence in human effort” (Philippians 3:7, 3, emphasis added).
That takes humility. …This doesn’t mean we won’t ever have to work. It does mean that we need to lean into God’s work in us, and through us.
In my mind, doing epitomizes self-dependence, striving, and a life full of “shoulds”. Being, on the other hand, embodies dependence on Father. And rest. A life of simply “I AM”: God with us.
Jesus was the first human being to fully trust God’s Life within him. Only as he rested in his relationship with his Father, and in their communion… could he express His Father’s heart and will into any given circumstance. He healed the blind and raised the dead as a dependent human being, trusting in his Father’s Life and power to be at work within him and through him (paraphrase from The Shack, pp. 99-100).
I’ve always believed that Jesus is fully God and fully human (Philippians 2:6-7). But the fact that He totally and completely laid aside His “Godhood” as He walked this earth in human form somehow didn’t quite register in my understanding. I assumed He was tapping into His “God-hood” to perform miracles, to fast for extended periods, to raise the dead. But Jesus clearly stated, “Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing His work” (John 14).
One teacher challenged us recently: “The Great Commission is not something to be done, it’s just the fruit of Who is with you. When we’re connected with Jesus, we bear fruit, not stress.”
So I’m giving up on rules, Jesus. Help me to trust Your Life living in me.
p.s. I’m on a journey… and by no means do I have all of the answers! If you have thoughts or questions, I’d love to share more. Just message me!
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. – Galatians 2:20
